Циничните новогодишни късмети за баница - Трета част - Sarcastic New Year Fortunes for Banitsa in Rhymes in English - Part 3





1. It is never too late to experience a new start, in 2025 you will become noticeably SMART!

2. You have been hoping for years to pay off that debt... well this is not happening soon, expect a new high maintenance PET.

3. You have been chronically bored and increasingly snobby, so 2025 will gift you with an equally annoying to you HOBBY.

4. No more pain in the b*tt, neck or discomfort will take, magically 2025 WILL HEAL YOUR CHRONICAL ACHE.

5. You have been such a sacrificing hard worker and energy donor, 2025 will calm you down with well deserved FAME & HONOR.

6. You have been hiding a special talent of yours undercover, in 2025 YOUR STAR WILL BE DISCOVERED. 

7. Perhaps you wear braces, perhaps you wear glasses, it does not matter how ugly you are honey, you will be LOVED BY THE MASSES.

8. It has been an ongoing battle with contractors, housekeepers and a spouse, but in 2025 you will finally TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR HOUSE!

9. Remember that muffin top of yours and the padding on your back? In 2025 they will be replaced by TONED MUSCLES and a 6-PACK.

10. After all this extracurricular driving, listening to screaming parents and washing dirty cleats, you will finally live to become PROUD OF YOUR KIDS.

11. You may buy yourself flowers, you may talk to yourself for hours, you may have many lonely nights too, but in 2025 someone will be IN LOVE WITH YOU.

12. After all this searching, scouting and religious beg, you will find someone to TEND TO YOU better than to an Orthodox  Easter egg.

13. All this manifesting and praying to Him, will materialize for you a FREE MEMBERSHIP to the most luxurious gym.

14. You will learn to manifest properly and to use the fortune's drift, 2025 will get you to receive ANY DESIRED BY YOU GIFT.

15. You know you need help at home with the constantly occurring mess and blot, 2025 knows it too and is bringing last edition Maid-Robot.

16. Some friends are precious, some friends are draining. The baddies - you will be losing, the good ones - you will be gaining.

17. Throw the fears, throw that book suspicious, in 2025 you WILL FINALLY LEARN HOW TO COOK DELICIOUS!

18. With God's help or surgeon, with mantras or lubes, one way or another you will be GROWING SOME BOOBS. 



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